(This article first appeared in the print edition published Feb. 28)
When it comes to announcing your engagement to your parents, it’s natural to feel a range of emotions. You might be overjoyed and excited, while also feeling nervous and apprehensive about their reaction. No matter how long you’ve been with your partner, getting engaged is a big deal, and it’s important to share the news with your family before spreading it elsewhere.
If your parents are already familiar with your partner, it’s best to share the news when you’re all together. This will allow you to enjoy the moment together and celebrate as a family. However, if you live far away and can’t wait to see them in person, you can set up a conference call or video chat to share the news. If your partner hasn’t met your parents yet, it’s a good idea to plan for them to meet before announcing the engagement. This will give your parents a chance to get acquainted with your partner and feel more comfortable with the news.
When it comes to the traditional practice of asking for the bride’s hand in marriage, this is something that your fiancé may choose to do privately with your father. While this tradition isn’t necessary or expected in modern times, some men still appreciate the opportunity to show respect and courtesy to their future in-laws.
After a couple becomes engaged, it’s customary to throw an engagement party within a reasonable time frame. It’s important to avoid waiting too long, as you don’t want the excitement of the engagement to dissipate before the celebration. Ideally, the party should take place a few weeks after the engagement so that it feels like a natural and exciting extension of the happy news.
It’s worth noting that the tradition of the bride’s parents hosting the pre-wedding party is not a hard and fast rule. In fact, it’s becoming increasingly common for close friends of the couple to take on the role of hosts and throw a celebration to mark the upcoming nuptials. When it comes to invitations, they are typically crafted with the phrase “in honor of” and can come in various forms such as formal or informal, and they may even be communicated verbally.
Hosting a successful party can be a definite challenge, but there are a few key elements that can make all the difference. While having delicious food and drinks, and a great venue are certainly important, the true secret to a memorable party lies in the guest list. The people you invite can set the tone and atmosphere and can make or break the overall experience. Choose your guests wisely, and you’ll be well on your way to throwing an amazing party that everyone will be talking about for months to come.
While it’s not expected for guests to bring gifts to an engagement party, some may choose to do so out of love and support for the engaged couple. If you do decide to bring a gift, personal items for the bride, such as lingerie, jewelry, or home decor are always appreciated. Monogrammed items with the bride’s future initials are a thoughtful touch. Gifts should be opened in private and acknowledged with a thank-you note. Additionally, it’s important to respond to all congratulatory messages and well-wishes you receive.
My Love Note: Regardless of your personal preferences or taste, it’s essential to keep in mind that what truly matters is cherishing this exceptional moment with the people you hold dear and crafting experiences that will remain etched in your memory for a lifetime.
Pem Pfisterer Clark has been hosting the nationally syndicated radio show “Wedding Planning With Pem” for over 20 years. The show provides valuable advice, insider tips, etiquette and money-saving ideas to listeners across the country. Bill Stevens Stark is the executive producer of the show.
