(This article first appeared in the July print edition of the Hendersonian.)
Every three seconds, a new dementia case is diagnosed in the United States. Every day, more than four people die from dementia and Alzheimer’s-related causes in Kentucky. Before you finish this article, many more will be diagnosed with the disease.
If you are like me, I have often wondered how to approach the journey with a loved one in a way that is more caring, supportive, and perhaps even with humor. After all, there is a saying that runs parallel to dementia/Alzheimer’s: “With cancer people rally, and with dementia/Alzheimer’s, people run…”
This is true with my mother. In her situation, I am assuming that it is a hurdle for people to accept and be comfortable with the changes that occur with her each year. And yet, it is precisely during this time that people with the disease should not be alone, even with the challenges of staying by their side. Dementia/Alzheimer’s is relentless and growing each year.
Because my mother is affected by the disease, I have been on a mission to learn more while sharing my findings with others. Speaking for myself, I have tried to focus on how to make this a positive and optimistic experience to counter the difficult process for my mother, brother and I (who are care givers for her). I will admit it has been trying to find good information-and harder to unearth helpful information about all of it. Perhaps the answer is in finding like-minded souls venturing down the same path. And then I found Paula Baillie.
On a rainy afternoon in June, I was met by an ebullient Paula Baillie at The Gathering Place in Clark Summit, Pa. I had been driving cross-country from Tennessee to Pennsylvania and heard the story of her organization on NPR. (May 31, 2025/Memory cafes offer camaraderie and fun.)
Memory cafes were started in the late 1990s in Europe. In the United States, they are newer, but the numbers are growing, which is a welcome balance to those affected by dementia and Alzheimer’s.
Though it was a gray day, the building and bench outside, along with local artist Sean Brady’s sculpture “Eleanor,” brightened the downtown corner of this lovely historic town. The Gathering Place (no connection to Henderson’s Gathering Place) is in a beautiful former fire station which has been resplendently refashioned to support the local community, including the Memory Cafe mentioned on NPR.
“What happened with my husband’s mother, the behavior changes, people don’t understand, and they step away,” Baillie said. “And caretakers are isolated because they are taking care of their loved one. So, what we do is provide community. We are The Gathering Place for community, arts, and education.”
The design and colors of The Gathering Place are peaceful and evocative. In the area for the Memory Cafe there is an art gallery filled with paintings by local artists (helpful for those to be surrounded by familiar memories of place), tables and chairs for memory and brain games, art projects, music and even physical activities. There is a kitchen across the way so that coffee and treats can be served during their meetings, which take place twice each month.
In the end, it is a supportive environment and social gathering spot designed for individuals with memory loss or other cognitive changes, along with their care partners. These cafes provide an engaging environment for socialization, peer support and shared experiences. They offer a place for individuals to connect with others who understand their journey, find comfort in shared experience and participate in activities that promote social interaction and engagement.
“In all of the years that I have done this, I have never had a bad day,” Baillie said.
She began this journey after the experience of caring for her mother-in-law and father, both dementia/Alzheimer’s patients.
“My dad always emphasized that you do things because they are needed and because they are the right thing to do.”
She mentions that memory cafes are wonderful places for both the loved one and the care giver. There is support and information for both.
For those dealing with memory loss, “They may not remember that they did a certain project or game or a particular day spent at the memory café, but they always come back for the following gathering.
“We have about 27 regulars now,” she said. “The Gathering Place is a nonprofit unique and inclusive community center that inspires creativity, encourages lifelong learning, nurtures a sense of purpose, and fosters a sense of community.”
In addition to the Memory Cafe, the Gathering Place holds space for groups who do the following: ukulele, writing, Irish music, felting, weaving, watercolor, open studio group, book group and grief support.
It also has programs Game Night, Craft & Chat and Memory Cafe.
It has classes on arts and crafts, history, gardening, writing, philosophy, art, cooking with local chefs, literature and music.
The facility provides childcare and has a food bank.
The Gathering Place in Clarks Summit has really inspired me to think about Henderson and what we might create together for our people here. Perhaps it’s something we could do collectively with the various groups and charities already in existence.
Wouldn’t it be an incredible experience to turn statistics around and show our elders hope and support within the community?
I am already dreaming of a beautiful community space near the Ohio River where people with memory loss can gather, commune with others like them and care givers can be given a respite to their day.
We could combine this with local artists, musicians and writers (perhaps SOFA, Ohio Valley Art League, etc), creative talks, and more—all for the sake of a collective and inclusive world in which we celebrate the people of Henderson. We all have a light that we carry and a story to tell.
