A statistic on the flyer for the Impact of Trauma on First Responders and Veterans Conference held Tuesday at the Preston Arts Center says that nationwide in 2023 there were 158 first responders who died by suicide, a total greater than those who died in the line of duty.
Speaker Dr. Ron Rufo, retired after serving a 22-year career in the Chicago Police Department, said recently in Chicago there has been much attention in law enforcement and media about an officer, Enrique Martinez, who was shot and killed in the line of duty. And rightfully so, Rufo said.
But what stays hidden in Chicago and the rest of the nation are those officers and former officers who die by suicide, he said. Last year, 6 officers or former officers of the Chicago PD died by suicide and very little was said about it, he said.
“No one ever really knows about it,” said Rufo, who also had on hand copies of some of the five books he’s written. His most recent is “Breaking the Barriers: Changing the Way We Support the Physical and Mental Health of Police Officers.”
Several speakers from around the nation came to Henderson Tuesday to be a part of the conference, the first of its kind in Henderson and organized by Henderson Police Department Officer Joe Whitledge, who is also the founder of the Defending Heroes Project, which aims to help veterans, police officers, firefighters and other first responders who need assistance for physical as well as mental health ailments.
Much of Tuesday’s all-day conference focused on trauma and mental health, important for first responders who see many more critical incidents in their careers than other people see in their lives.
Another speaker, Matthew Griffin, said an average person witnesses 3-5 critical incidents in a lifetime, while a first responder will see some 500. Witnessing that trauma time and again catches up with many, leading to depression and other mental health problem—and sometimes suicide.
Griffin and Rufo came from the “Suck it up” generation, which, according to both, was the type of advice given when a cop was struggling after seeing a traumatic incident or from the difficulties of the job.
“If you’re not strong enough to see it, then it’s not the job for you,” Griffin said one veteran told him early on.
That’s not the way Griffin sees it. His viewpoint comes from his own experiences
His partner at the Keane (N.H.) Police Department died by suicide on March 9, 2017. Eight days later, Griffin wrote his own suicide note. His decision came on the heels of recent traumatic events in his life—his divorce, stabbings he’d been called to, the baby of his friend dying in his arms and the death of his partner.
He decided he was going to pull the trigger at midnight. Sitting in his SUV with a loaded gun, he turned his phone to “Do Not Disturb.”
His best friend called him and left a message. Because his friend knew of Griffin’s recent struggles—though not about his planned suicide—he called right back. Two calls in a minute unlocked the “Do Not Disturb” feature on his phone, and surprised, Griffin answered.
His friend’s message: “I love you” and “There’s light at the end of the tunnel.”
That stopped him. And although he was still struggling, he kept pushing back any attempt on his life another day, saying, “If today is a good day to die, then tomorrow is.”
Eventually, despair turned into hope. Now his daily practice is to “selfishly do something good” for himself while also doing something good for someone else.
Griffin, who published a book about this experience, “Journey to Midnight,” was at the PAC to talk about his life, his work in the police departments, mental health of police officers and the changes within law enforcement that need to occur.
“More people need to hear (this),” he said.
Griffin’s book will be a part of an upcoming PBS series “Hiding In Plain Sight,” which is presented by Ken Burns. Additionally, Griffin has been in talks with film studios, including Lionsgate, to get the book turned into a feature-length film.
He said the past three years have brought much talk about mental health but not enough action. He said most PDs still operate like the old ways that he was brought in on, and there’s still a stigma among some about getting help. Some don’t want others to know they’re going to counseling because it might negatively affect their work or chances at a promotion, Griffin said.
“The path isn’t clear” for first responders to feel comfortable in reaching out for help, Griffin said.
For more information about the Defending Heroes Project, click here.
