“The human race has only one real effective weapon and that is laughter.” -Mark Twain
“Laughter feels like our flotation device – – it won’t pull us out of the storm, but it might carry us through, if we can just hang on.” -Emery Lord, Open Road Summer
The sound of laughter always led me to brighter, lighter moments as a kid. There was much to tackle, in terms of life stuff. My family and I spent time watching TV, vacillating between the comedians of the 1970s: Joan Rivers, Johnny Carson, Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, Flip Wilson, and scary shows like “Kolchak: The Night Stalker” and “Night Gallery,” along with films like “Psycho,” “The Birds,” and “Westworld,” with reruns of “The King and I” mixed in for good measure. Our cinematic choices left us both laughing and screaming on a nightly basis. Times and tastes seemed simpler back then. We were happy if our viewing parties were topped off with just-off-the-stovetop-burner Jiffy Pop and Green Kool-Aid.
Fifty-five years later, humor is still a mainstay of my family’s life. The only difference now is that dementia has crept into the fabric of our lives interwoven with news that is just as frightening as those 1970s programs. I find my mom and I have needed a creative and fun outlet as a weapon against the disease.
That creative mirror has turned, and my muse has become my mother. What does one do when the person you have known for sixty-plus years begins to feel like someone else mentally?
About four years ago, I made a conscious decision to meet my mother where she is—at the place where she stands, somewhere perhaps in the middle of her journey. So much has changed and yet she is still the beautiful, smart and hilarious woman my father met in Okinawa. They married, moved to Henderson, and began a family. What could be more fun, and perhaps even funny, than to utilize this time as a creative archaeological dig of character? Add to it at the time that there was the unfortunate timeline of a writers strike and an actors’ strike hitting at the same time, and well, to say I was looking for a new muse is putting things lightly.
Creativity and humor can be quite beneficial in times of stress. From bethesdahealth.org: “An Australian study focused on the effects of humor on people living in residential care facilities. The results revealed that humor therapy is as effective as widely used antipsychotic drugs in helping people with dementia, and it avoids serious drug-related side effects.”
After all, the benefits of laughter for all humans have been well established. They include:
• Relief from stress, anxiety, and depression
• The release of the body’s ‘feel-good’ chemicals
• Stronger immune system
• Pain relief
• Increased socialization with others
As the disease progresses, according to the website, “jokes with set up and punchlines can be impossible for the person to follow. The Three Stooges might be a better source of comedy for them than standup comedians. You as a family member and caregiver will have to determine when to find a humorous moment. As they open up, they might recount funny stories about their past life. Reviewing an album of funny family photos could be a good way to start the conversation.”
In our case, creating portraits of my loved one as she is now has proven to provide some wildly happy moments, always chock full of laughter, inspiration and poignant memories. While your loved one may not exactly remember the details, they will remember that they are full of life, engaging with their family member and happily doing so.
The important thing for me is to find a way to make friends with dementia. There are so many stories of loss, anger and bittersweet notes with this disease. I am on a mission to turn that mirror, as many times as I can, to reflect new ways of dealing with it. If I can do that with a belly ache from laughter, then this time would have been worthwhile.
Henderson native Ane Crabtree, a 1982 graduate of Henderson County High School, has been a designer in Hollywood for 35 years. She has created looks for shows like “The Sopranos,” “Westworld,” “The Handmaid’s Tale,” “Darren Aronofsky’s Postcards from Earth” and the recent, “The Changeling,” for Apple TV. She has also created designs for several shows of the futurist Liam Young.
